You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
