fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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