I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she smelled like a LAN party
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
