How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
