nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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