come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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