My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
