white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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