soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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