i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
