Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
