Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
