Me too!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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