The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
