Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
