when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
