Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
