My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
