Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
