im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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