Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
