Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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