i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
