Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
