so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
