literally had 100 drinks last night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
