I'm pants shitting drunk right now
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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