spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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