Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
