U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
