I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I won the penis lottery.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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