it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
