I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
