my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
