STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
