I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
