I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
