dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
