Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Your penis caused this!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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