So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
