Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
