so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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