shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize