i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
