you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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