speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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