just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
