yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize