Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
