I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
