She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
