if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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