I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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