i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
