Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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