I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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