PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
