You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize