i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
