I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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